BubbleAid

A Conservatory Dream

Last night we were treated to the story of a family who can now achieve their dream of building a conservatory, thanks to a generous donation by UK taxpayers. 

But the story goes way beyond enabling home improvements whose name bears a cunning resemblance to the leading UK political party which spawned the spending programme. 

In fact, even the name "Help to Buy" is misleading, because this scam scheme unlocks plenty of other fantasies at the same time: the home owner couldn't even afford the house, much less an extension; the building company wouldn't otherwise make a profit on building it (and wouldn't build it at all); the bank wouldn't have the mortgage on its books; and the Treasury wouldn't end up with a 20% 'investment' in overpriced residential real estate. 

In short, we simply couldn't have another housing bubble without this scheme. 

So the least we can do is call it "BubbleAid".

While the economic justification of BubbleAid is maybe a little er... soft, it's difficult to question its political brilliance, coming as it does right out of the Fabian Society playbook. I can't think of a single middle class person who wouldn't want to realise their dream of a conservatory at other taxpayers' expense. We're talking a tsunami of greed rolling right across the entire United Kingdom, coast-to-coast.  

And nobody will ever vote it down because they won't believe that killing the programme will ever see a reduction in their taxes. 

Besides, UK taxes will never go down. The UK government will never spend less. Those are pipe dreams. 

Haha. Tax and spend less. Imagine it...

Are you smoking crack?!

When we need more money, we're just going to get those vicious, good-for-nothing global corporations to pay more in UK taxes. Simple. 

I mean, clearly other countries don't need the extra tax revenue, otherwise they'd be making those evil death stars pay more already, right? So it's open season. Britain can charge the bastards whatever the hell it likes. Nobody can stop us.

Don't pay any attention to that lunatic Senator Levin and his mutinous crew. Their demands that the United States should get a fair share of Apple's revenues will never take precedence over every Briton's right to realise the Conservatory dream.

So dream on!

Long live BubbleAid!