Saturday, 11 September 2010

Preacher Plans Twin Towers of Babel

Controversial pasta (surely "Pastor", ed.), Terry Jones - the man who put "mental" in "fundamentalist christian" - landed in New York City last night, still hoping to meet the local imam with plans for a downtown religious centre.

Jones left his Dove World headquarters near Gainsville FL in an armchair powered by nine thousand white doves, rather than a jet owned by a leading news manufacturer, as rumoured earlier. But he never did reach the imam.

Something Happened Along the Way

"Downtown New York was bigger than I thought," a rueful Pr Jones admitted to Sky News reporters who are desperate to hype this non-story. "I became confused about the meeting location."

Indeed, downtown New York City is renowned for planning laws that nestle "gentlemen's clubs" amongst giant testaments to fear and greed. So Jones could be forgiven for mistaking the New York Dolls Gentlemen's Club for the site of the religious centre, as both lie within a few blocks of the former site of the famed "Twin Towers". Many gentlemen have similarly lost their way.

Meeting Will Go Ahead Today

News editors now hope the bogus meeting between the religious leaders will take place today. Apparently Pr Jones will present his own plans for the religious centre - a development proposal he has dubbed the "Twin Towers of Babel".

"The towers will have their tops in the heavens...lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the Earth," Jones explained.

The local imam could not be reached for comment, sensible man, while a spokesman for the New York City planning office expressed doubts about the proposed height of the towers. "We've approached the Man in the Moon with a view to discussing how we share airspace, but he hasn't yet returned our calls."
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