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Sunday, 1 April 2012

A Pint and 40-a-Day Will Keep The IMF Away


I'm hopeful that the UK government's personal tax statement will end the cynical political ploy of leveraging middle class ignorance, fear and greed when introducing public spending programmes. Once we see exactly how our tax money is spent we'll get a decent perspective on the real issues. And we'll realise there's no point paying higher taxes only to get some of it back dressed up in the language of moral panic, like "Child Benefits", just so we can employ a few more civil servants. We'll start to insist that the cost of public services be cut or contained. Improved access to government data will mean we can track and demand progress.

Even better, we'll be able to target our taxes. Particularly those that are voluntary, like the excise duties on beer and cigarettes. Drinkers and smokers across the land will have a list of public funding options at the bar or on cigarette machines.

Toxic taxes crowdfunding toxin removal, rather than the purchase of toxic assets from toxic banks.
INT: TYPICAL [ENGLISH/WELSH/CORNISH/NORTHERN IRISH] PUB

REGINALD enters and approaches the bar, where GARY is cleaning a pint glass.

GARY
Evenin’, Reg.

            REGINALD
Gary. All good?

            GARY
Yeah, never bad. What’ll it be?

            REGINALD
Pint o' bitter.

GARY
Where d’you want it to go?
Gary points to the list of local, government-approved recipients of excise duty on beer.

REGINALD
(Peering through the gloom) Rehab centre.

GARY
Nearest?
               
REGINALD
(Pauses in thought) Nah, the missus is in there. Give it t'the one up the ‘igh street.
Gary presents the pint. Reginald hands him a £50 note.   
REGINALD
(Heading for the cigarette machine, muttering) Now for a pack o' fags to get me knee done.

Image from the Vreeland Clinic.



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