All Washed-Up, Ready To Go

The despicably secretive, double-dealing frenzy of the UK Parliamentary 'wash-up' is an especially disgraceful and cretinous process in the hands of the current shameful, scandal-ridden crew. That they went ahead and wallowed in it shows they've learned absolutely nothing about how to rescue their institution from the desperately low esteem in which it is held. As they huddled in their dirty little corners to snuffle out a deal, few spared a thought for the millions of individuals who put them there or the mandate they were granted. Parliamentary reforms were ditched as they cosied up to the copyright moguls and helped themselves to the tools of leak suppression.

We can only hope that this insidious wash-up process and the tawdry deals it produced will adorn the funeral pyre of this miserable, tragic saga in global political history.

"Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation . . . In the name of God, go".

Oliver Cromwell, 1653.

Kool Aid!! More Kool Aid!!!

The UK election battle is raging. From the plains of Helmand Province to the door of Number 10, where Gordo clings to power like a crazed gibbon hugging a tree. He'll have to be carried out of there, gibbering and drooling in a locked cage, if Dave and that other guy are going to get him out at all.

It's hot and dangerous work. New Labour goons roam the surrounding streets in ugly bands, some desperate to get their hands on  private loot  to fill the empty public coffers, others offering themselves for hire like cheap mercenaries. While deep down in the bunker, amidst the clamour and roar of media briefings, timeshare-style cold-calling, billboard banter and sound-bite skirmishes, staffers scream "Kool Aid!! We need more Kool Aid"!!! Dreading that without opiate, they and the masses will stop believing.

It would be time to flee, if the unions hadn't seized control of the roads, railways and the airways. So we're stuck in the battle zone, cowering behind any solid object we can find, rags stuffed in our ears against the hideous din. Only the insane and the very brave will risk the lethal dash to the polling booth.

On May 7, we'll know how those numbers stack up.

Not Travelling Light? That's Your Problem.

With its plans to redefine the expression 'travelling light' with coin-operated toilets on its flights and higher baggage charges during the peak holiday season, Ryanair's finally done it. Not content with the vicious spiral after its "idiot blogger" incident, and the piss-taking after the last time it suggested charging for Nature's call, the airline has crossed the line from facilitator to institution - from service provider that exists to solve it's customers' problems (how to cut the cost of air travel) to one that is primarily motivated to solve it's own (how to increase profitability).

Revealingly, Ryanair explains both initiatives as it's own attempt to change customers' behaviour, rather than adapt to suit their needs. It explains the baggage charge as 'urging' people to travel light, and it's spokesman is reported to have blatantly justified its pay-for-a-leak strategy as enabling it to pack more people onto each flight:

'By charging for the toilets we are hoping to change passenger behaviour so that they use the bathroom before or after the flight. That will enable us to remove two out of three of the toilets and make way for at least six extra seats.'

Not much comfort in either explanation - especially for those travelling with kids. Maybe they won't?

Bon voyage, Ryanair. It doesn't matter how profitable you say you are. You're doomed to a lingering death.

STOP PRESS: And in breaking news, Ryanair declares its refusal to comply with regulations requiring payment of passengers' expenses incurred while being re-routed during the recent flying restrictions.

Green or Greed Investment Bank?

I wonder whose problem(s) would be solved by the public sector 'green investment bank' being touted by both the Tories and Labour. 

I mean, do you believe the British Private Equity and Venture Capital Association is a staunch advocate of completely open and transparent financial markets? Or do you think it could be helpful to have a captive investor on which to off-load one's less than spectacular speculative green investments as a last resort?

Perhaps more importantly, would the creation of a public sector green investment bank allow or encourage individuals to buy-in to alternative energy projects, financing them in the process?

The current "problems" in the financial services markets - excessive fees and bonuses, lack of transparency, poorly understood products, the credit and pension crises - are the result of the sort of institutional tinkering epitomised by the proposed 'green investment bank'. We funnel investment opportunities and funding into a zone in which relatively few firms are permitted to operate. The results are increasingly complex products, less transparency, increasingly concentrated risk and less competition.

This situation won't change until the clear objective of the regulatory regime becomes the delivery of simple, low cost financial products that are accessible to us all. Rather than vainly trying to educate an aging population to become more and more financially literate, we need to vastly simplify the process for the average individual to invest/save in a fully diversified way.

Surely the successful investment firms of the future will be the ones who race each other to demystify and simplify the funding/investment experience, rather than those who enter into cosy, self-serving institutional arrangements like this one.

Everything Is Very Personal

While it's important to be able to rise above the noise, I wonder how many senior decision makers and policy makers have lost touch with the fact that everything is incredibly personal for each of us. Especially things we tend to regard as utilities or commodities - water, groceries, garbage, money, airports, train schedules, road repairs.

Everything.

Think about it when you next run the tap to make coffee, or you take from your own kitchen cupboard a jar of something you bought at a supermarket from a row of apparently identical jars, or when you hear the binman collecting rubbish from your own bins, or you log-in to your online bank account, or you join the queue at airport security, or you sprint to catch a train that is later delayed or when you sit in a traffic jam beside an abandoned trench that mysteriously appeared in the road a week ago.

All these personal experiences are shaped by someone else, but they're yours.

In every person's reality, there is no 'bell curve', no 'average', no 'normal'. Sure, these are useful fudges we make to move things along. But how many people hold these fudges as their dominant perspective, rather than the idea that everything is very personal?

How much of a difference would it make if your dominant perspective in every business meeting was personal? None? Okay, do you think that would make a difference to politics? Banking? What would that difference look like?

Now do you think it would make a difference to what you do?

Just a thought.